Reflections on Self Love - Do You Truly Value Yourself?

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We’ve been in lockdown in the UK for a few weeks now and I’m noticing that with this slower, more introspective way of life, there’s a lot of stuff coming up for so many of us right now. For me, I’ve been contemplating the subject of SELF LOVE & VALUE a lot, which is very much linked to Creation Code #4.

We’ve ALL got stuff that’s more on the surface at the moment than we would perhaps normally notice. And because of this global lockdown situation that we are currently all experiencing, it’s definitely time to connect inwardly and to tap into what’s going on inside. There is a huge potential for release and healing. 

I feel called to share some of my contemplations and reflections on VALUE. It comes from Daleth, or the 4th Creation Code. Many people have Creation Code #4 in either their birth name blueprint or current, ‘overlay’ name blueprint - but remember the Codes in Hebrew Soul Purpose system are found in absolutely everything, all of the 22 Creation Codes are found in all of existence and they’re encoded within us. It just depends on which codes are in your chart as to which ones have the most influence on creating your reality. 

First I’m going to share the key words for this Code from my ebook (which is currently only available as an eBook, but it will be available in hardcopy in future) on Creation Code #4 to give you an overview of the key themes. 

Keywords for Creation Code 4:
Abundance, fertility, radiance, duplicating energy to this code, trust, and flow

I want to talk about Value today. 

And this has been a BIG initiation in my life - particularly when you have the Codes in a Soul Destiny position (which I do, I have 13-4 in my birth name blueprint) it can be a big lesson that your Soul is wanting to explore in this lifetime. 

The definition of value from my dictionary is:

The regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.

Many initiations can happen for us around value - for example - see if you can recognise any of these in your own life, there are 4 main initiations around value that I’m seeing:

  1. Your own value, and holding your own value. It could be over OR under. We know that when shadow qualities play out they are usually externalised or internalised, and it’s usually one extreme: either over or under. So initiations around knowing and holding your own value. Under would be not seeing your value, not recognising your value, feeling insecure about what you have to offer, comparing yourself to others and finding yourself less than. Or it could be externally expressed, it could be over value - self absorbed, selfish, egotistical. The 4’s can be narcissistic to an extreme, and entitled. That’s another way that when value is overly expressed it can be through a sense of entitlement.

  2. Another initiation around value is recognising and appreciating other people’s value. Seeing yourself as being right-size compared to other people. Not superior or inferior, just right sized. And recognising the value and gifts that other people have as well, without putting people on a pedestal OR looking down on them.

  3. Having value judgements - comparing and making value judgements about yourself and others. This can be expressed as snobbery - ‘I’m better than others, I’ve got more money or I grew up in a better family or had a better education’ - looking down on others or only being able to hang out with certain people because they have a certain status. 4’s can get caught up with status - again both their own and their others. And again, this can go the other way - inverted snobbery - people who don’t consider that they have as much as other people, as a simple example it could be people who consider themselves very proud of being working class and who are judging and not appreciating the value of people who are in other classes or groups. It may look like it’s being expressed differently, but really it’s the same initiation of learning not to have value judgements, not to feel ‘better than’ or ‘less than’. Not lashing out at others to make yourself feel better and boost yourself up if you do feel less than. 

  4. Sharing value with others - this is about being generous. When it’s an online talent the 4’s are very generous, they happily will share their resources, their money with other people - the 4’s love to give. Sharing one’s own value, whatever that is - the opposite of course can be selfishness. Not sharing enough, not sharing your time, not sharing your resources. It’s linked to seeing the value that you have in yourself to give to others. If you have a 4 in challenge you might be struggling to see that value in yourself - you may feel I want to give generously and share with others - but I don’t know what I have of value that I can give! That is this initiation playing out for you. 

How this has played out for me - some of my story might be a mirror for you, but even if it isn’t just by attuning to this consciousness field of value you will get insights that come up for you.

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For me there has been a huge initiation in my life around seeing and owning my own value, and it’s gone both over and under! For a long time it was under - for a long, long time. I was very insecure, thought that most other people were better than me. Had the experience growing up where I would look at other people and perceive them to be ‘higher’ than me. And it could be anything.

When I was younger and more superficial, it would have been more looks based - I was putting everybody into these categories - not realising at the time of course - and then making judgements based on what they looked like. And it was according to a type of look or physique that I had been conditioned to think is beautiful, which we all experience through society or through our family growing up.

If there was a girl at my school for example, a really pretty girl in my own classification of what that was, I’d be putting her up on a pedestal way up there, before even getting to know her or know anything about her personality, and just thinking she must be amazing! And then having struggles with this because I would become best friends with this beautiful girl (I am thinking about one girl in particular I became best friends, who I was friends with for many years) And I just thought that she was the epitome of beauty and everything I wanted to be. 

Before I’d even spoken to her I’d given her more value than me. And all the way through our relationship it was this strange dynamic where I would always be telling her how beautiful she was all the time and giving her confidence boosts, but when I got a compliment or if she tried to give me a compliment I had an attitude of like “It’s ok, you don’t have to say that just to be nice to me!”

So it’s really interesting to look at this and to see how these creation codes can play out for us in our reality in different ways. 

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That’s definitely one of the ways. In many cases it was me under-valuing myself or not seeing my own value in myself. Particularly there were a few horror stories which were experiences I obviously needed to have with choices with MEN! 

If there was a guy that would be treating me well, or if there was someone GOOD NATURED approaching me, I just couldn’t bring myself to fancy those types of guys for many years. Instead I’d always be drawn to the ‘bad boys’.

Now, I’m thinking about one person in particular where it was a horrendous experience where I learned a lot - he was an ‘ex’ bad boy, but he really hadn’t cleaned up his act - not on the inside anyway. He was very blocked emotionally, had severe commitment issues, low morals, and despite being bright he’d made choices so he didn’t have any prospects. He was in fact scheming and taking from the government, in total victim and had a working class chip on his shoulder. He didn’t have a lot going for him in many ways, even from a personality point of view! So there I was, at that time in my life thinking that after all this work I’d done on myselfI did actually value myself (but I was still heavily conditioned), thinking I’d done all of the things that society was saying I should do. I looked really good, I had a 6 figure career, I was spiritual, actively involved in service, and a good person, I’d cleaned up my act. But still I was making these terrible judgements.

And part of it, though it wasn’t conscious at the time, part of it would have been that I was choosing someone who I thought would be GRATEFUL to be with me. It was a superficial connection. I just really wanted someone to adore me. So it was coming from that place of overly low/overly high self value. But when you’re dealing with clearing heavy karmic programmes, all of this stuff can come up to be healed. 

Know with Creation Code number 4, it’s linked to some other themes as well. Value is linked to success, and I can see this in my own calling, with my clients, with my peers who are coaches and intuitives and teachers - the more value that we share with the world, the more the universe returns that back to us.

The more value we can share - not from a ‘getting’ place, because I want something - but the more value we can share just from a giving place, it will always come around back to us. It’s very much linked to success and abundance - UNLESS you are giving away your OWN value when you are doing it. 

And that can be a tough line to balance. It can be hard to know when you are giving away your own value. There may have been times in your life where you realise - I’ve given too much. And you have to pull back. But I’d love to hear your thoughts on this - can we ever give TOO much? 

It’s a fine line. Giving is beautiful. But when you give away your value to others, it’s actually a selfish act. Because it’s not giving from a place of pure giving - you’re giving from a place of wanting someone to like you, wanting someone’s time or attention or friendship. You’re thinking you’re just being generous, but it’s actually a subtle indication of insecurity and undervaluing yourself. 

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So sometimes it can be the case that you feel well, I gave and I gave and I gave, and this person didn’t appreciate me, they crossed this boundary or whatever it may be. When that trigger comes up, it’s a really good time to ask - was it truly selfless? Or was there a part of you that wasn’t really holding your value, so you were OVERgiving, and you were overgiving from a place of scarcity - because that’s the opposite of abundance, it’s lack. And that’s also a part of the 4’s. 

The 4’s are incredibly abundant when they’re in that place of giving and ‘I have so much there is so much abundance so why not share, why not give.’ But the opposite can be scarcity and lack, so that is also very much a part of the 4’s.

So, Value - can you give too much? Is it possible to give too much? 

And what have your experiences been with holding and seeing your own value? 

I’d love to hear your thoughts - share them in the comments with me!

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